I am addicted to Rolls-Royce

Rolls-Royce calls the Cullinan Series II, the new version of its 2018 ‘high-sided vehicle’ (read SUV), its ‘most capable’ motorcar. That is an understatement. Rolls-Royces can be understated because they are bespoke and, as such, they are what you want them to be. You are dropping the price of a house on a motorcar, after all – the parallels with sexual longing are obvious, if under-disclosed. For every hot pink, or blush pink, Phantom with an interior ceiling lit up as your late dog’s face or horoscope – they can do this – there is an inky Ghost impersonating Bette Davis’s black silk dress in All About Eve. That’s my Rolls-Royce. Mostly, I like them black and white, like chessboards. But they are infinite.

Ignore those who call them vulgar: they have never driven, let alone commissioned, one. All things in orange, or purple, or gold, are vulgar.