How to cope with pest season in the countryside

The first sign that something was awry was what sounded like an electrical crackling noise coming from the corner of our downstairs hallway and growing louder every day. Having ruled out our dodgy wifi (for once), I eventually turned my attention outside, where I found the cause. Wasps – hundreds of them – were swarming into a hole under the wall.

My husband suggested we hire an expert to get rid of their nest. I said we should save money and that I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. So I waited until nightfall, armed myself with a wasp-killing foam I’d bought on Amazon and covered up in as many clothes as possible. Tiptoeing to the hole, I squirted foam into it.

It was, I thought, a job well done. Until the next day, when hordes of wasps found their way inside our house – no doubt soon to be introduced to the mice, flies and gargantuan spiders that have also taken up residence here.