How to protest the protestors

These are bleak times in our land, and we must take our pleasures where we can. Personally I have been able to find a great deal of consolation over recent days in watching members of the public confronting protestors from the Just Stop Oil movement. There is some especially pleasing footage of van drivers in south London hauling protestors off the roads by the scruff of their necks. The colourful language which accompanies these acts is an additional delight, for the irate British public is not always immune to using words that polite people might deplore.

All the videos bring some satisfaction. This week a strange-looking man-child with a comb-over sprayed orange paint on to the Aston Martin showroom in central London. As he issued his subsequent sermon for the cameras, various off-stage motorists could be heard shouting unkind comments about such things as the man-child’s crop top.

My sympathies in these exchanges are entirely with the motorists. While I do not own a van, I would like to think that if I encountered these protestors I too would do my bit.

At the Uffizi this week I happened to see Botticelli’s ‘Spring’, which environmental activists glued themselves to in July. The sight of the masterpiece reminded me to compliment the gallery’s staff. Because when the eco-loons glued themselves around the Uffizi, the gallery’s staff ripped them off and away immediately. They did not stand around like their counterparts at the National Gallery when similar stunts were attempted. The London guards seemed principally interested in speaking into their walkie-talkies and protecting the protestors – which doubtless encouraged the protestors to return.