How to mobilise the police

I wasn’t surprised to hear that six police officers raided a pub in Essex after a customer complained about the presence of 15 golliwogs on display behind the bar. After placing the dolls in evidence bags, the officers told the pub’s owner that they were investigating a possible ‘hate crime’. Needless to say, you’re lucky to get a visit from a single officer if you report a burglary in Essex, let alone six. In 2018-19, just 5 per cent of residential burglaries reported to Essex police resulted in someone being charged or summoned to court. It appears that the only way to get a full complement of officers to investigate a crime – not just in Essex, but anywhere – is to report it as a ‘hate crime’.

In my street, a month doesn’t go by without someone announcing they’ve been burgled

I live on what must be the most burgled street in Acton and the advice I give to my neighbours if their home is broken into is not to call the police straight away, but to grab a can of spray paint and daub the words ‘Trans women aren’t women’ on the outside of the house.