How to make money out of turmoil

This is the best financial advice I’ve heard all week:

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it  would now be worth £4.95.  With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000  would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now  be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager  one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium  re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics  the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

For more from Michael Millar, head over to Trading Floor.