Jaspistos

How to be more British

How to be more British

issue 18 February 2006

In Competition No. 2430 you were invited to suggest some items in a government programme of ‘events’ designed to improve our sense of national identity. How British am I? I sometimes wonder. I am sorry for our troops in Iraq but I don’t support them. I am a republican who dislikes pubs, is bored by soccer and doesn’t drink tea or enjoy roast beef. I’ve been investigated by MI6. I fail the sports loyalty test: if the British Lions were trounced by the Solomon Islands, I wouldn’t give a frozen hoot. And yet I regard myself as deeply patriotic. Odd, isn’t it?

The prizewinners, printed below, get £25 each, and W.J. Webster has the extra fiver.

Our mission in ‘Out of the Past, Into the Future’ is to celebrate the quintessential British ability to unpick the tapestry of tradition and use the threads to weave a banner proclaiming ‘Progress’. Brownfield Site-seeing Tours will reveal how our industrial heritage is being transformed into a range of accommodation and service facilities to meet the demands of a new century.

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