How Labour could lose

Occasionally I wake up in the morning with the rain pelting on the windows and the sky the colour of a gravestone and I think to myself that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if we had a Labour government. Partly this is simply a sense of resignation and inevitability, because we are going to have a Labour government, given that the current administration is loathed by a wearied public and shows every inclination of breathing oxygen onto that loathing so that it develops into a fully fledged visceral inferno of hatred. Partly it is because the likes of Starmer, Reeves and Streeting do not seem, to me, noticeably less likeable or competent than what we have at the moment. Sir Keir, for example, is a man of principle, and I respect that. It may be that those principles change every day and even he doesn’t know what they’re going to be tomorrow afternoon, but this is mere quibbling.

But then I remember, as the coffee machine grumbles into life, that we wouldn’t just be getting Starmer, Reeves and Streeting – we’d be getting the rest of the bastards too.