How I rid myself of a Hindu priest

Hinduism is diverse. Every region, caste and devotee worships differently which means that when there’s a big event no one knows what to do. Practices vary between communities. Sindhis do things differently to, say, Sikkimese. And they vary across different regions too. Sindhis in the Indian city of Pune, where my grandparents were from, do things differently from Sindhis in London, where my mum lives.

Everyone knows the main rituals of a Hindu funeral: you feed cows each day before breakfast, you are expected to be, at least temporarily, a teetotal vegetarian, and the deceased is always cremated. But that’s where the agreement ends. The period of mourning can last anywhere between three to 12 days, garlic and onion may or may not eaten, some insist the cows must have a special diet and others that women must not attend the cremation.