The veneer of civilisation is easily cracked, as anyone who has followed Donald Trump’s Twitter feed will know. This Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, the point of which is no longer clear, there will be riots in shops across the globe, as people fight over discounted products they do not need or even want. The returns rate for goods bought on Black Friday is very high, which does not surprise me. This kind of shopping is a very pure narcotic, and it ebbs fast and wild.
Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Boxing Day — capitalism has its own liturgical calendar now. Festivals are essential to humans; and as the sky shrinks and the advertising hoardings get larger and more grotesque, where can we turn but to Asda?
Actually, not Asda. There was so much violence in Asda last year — including a ‘stampede’ in Belfast, a city I always thought could look after itself — that they have ceased Black Friday operations due to ‘shopper fatigue’. The ‘stampede’, hopefully, will return next year.
Here I pause and wonder: is it possible that the Asda ‘non-Black Friday’ or ‘anti-Black Friday’ is an advertising campaign in its own right? Always differentiate yourself from your rivals! As in — ‘Asda: for a non-violent shopping experience’. Or ‘Asda: no one will break your nose at the till’.
Black Friday is not really consumer-driven, although if you ask someone if they want cheaper products they will usually say yes. But not me; not when the product is human. I do not want a discounted Black Friday cleaner, although I was offered one by email, and neither should you. If you consider it, slap yourself, or go to Tesco on Black Friday, where someone else will do it for you.
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