How do we stop the Lycra dads using our stable yard as a toilet?

The cyclist pulled into our gateway, got off his bike and grabbed hold of the electric fencing. Installing game cameras, along with signs making clear to passers-by that they are on film, has not always deterred trespassers, but it has provided us with interesting viewing.

And so it was on this occasion, as the cyclist pulled in for what cyclists pull in for. By this I don’t mean they necessarily relieve themselves swiftly against a bush. I mean sometimes they duck under the tape to go inside the field or stable yard where they make themselves at home, in a semi-seated position.

Look, it’s not nice to have to describe what they do, but then it’s not nice of them to do it. What protection do the various lockdown laws give the rural dwellers of Surrey against the Lycra dads of London and Woking? None. The builder b and I wouldn’t know not to sit at the picnic table by our stables to eat our lunch after they’ve done their business there if we didn’t have cameras.