Frank Johnson

How did an immigrant to England get into the Home Secretary’s office?

How did an immigrant to England get into the Home Secretary’s office?

issue 27 May 2006

How did an immigrant to England get into the Home Secretary’s office?

News that various Nigerian cleaners, working on Home Office premises dealing with immigration, were themselves illegal immigrants was amusing enough. But people are always wandering around Home Office premises whom staff cannot be expected immediately to identify, no matter how hard staff might try.

First Nigerian cleaner: ‘Excuse me, sir. Do you work here?’

John Reid: ‘Aye.’

‘For how long?’

‘About a week. Just gettin’ t’noo the place.’

Second Nigerian cleaner: ‘What language is he speaking?’

First Nigerian: ‘English, but with a foreign accent. He obviously wasn’t born here. Do you have any means of identification, sir?’

Mr Reid: ‘Ah doo nay need it.’

Second Nigerian: ‘We’ve all got to have our passes, mister. But I won’t call security yet. You’re obviously one of us. We illegals must stick together. Then, in the end, they’ll let us stay.

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