Honour the general’s veritable brick and sidle towards the Veuve Clicquot

When I was last in the Elysée Palace, with a troop of bankers, we were given a speech of welcome from Jacques Chirac and the opportunity to taste French regional wines. This occasion, or so I imagine, will be more elaborate. A gold ingot will be escorted from the Banque de France by mounted outriders and arranged on a velvet cushion in front of the President. Heads will bow. This, he will proclaim, is the veritable brick pulled out of the wall forty years ago by my sainted predecessor, Charles de Gaulle — the brick that brought the house down. Let us honour his memory and learn from his example. There will be a suitable patter of sycophantic applause and a sideways sidle towards the Veuve Clicquot. (Note the golden label.) I just hope that my invitation has not miscarried, because time is running short and, then as now, the general had a point.