Very sadly I couldn’t get hold of Sea of Fire (BBC2, Friday), the (reportedly superb) drama documentary about the destruction of HMS Coventry in the Falklands War, because tapes weren’t available till just before broadcast. But not to worry. I think I can still tell you with some confidence how it went.
The first thing I know is that it was artfully shot, beautifully acted, had an authoritative voiceover and looked very realistic, for these BBC drama docs always are. The second thing I know is that, also like all BBC exercises in this vein, it made you feel dreadfully ashamed to be British.
Very probably, its thesis went something like this: in the middle of the evil, pointless, illegal-under-international-law Falklands War, cackling witch and child-murderer Margaret Thatcher realised she had a big problem. Lots of innocent Argies had died (e.g., in the totally unjustified sinking of the unarmed peace ship the Belgrano) but not nearly enough Brits. This not only created an unhelpful international image for Britain as a cruel bully but it also meant that the British public weren’t sufficiently imbued with hatred to give the war their fullest support. Clearly something had to be done.
And so it was that Thatch, in league with Israel and a cabal of right-wing extremists, hatched a sinister plan: the Coventry, pride of the Falklands battle fleet, must be sacrificed and as many of its crew killed as possible. Within minutes, a Vulcan bomber was on its way on the war’s most secret mission — to deliver to the Coventry’s captain a present, ostensibly from his prime minister thanking him for all his good work, but in fact containing the seeds of his ship’s destruction.
At 0700 hours the next morning, the package arrived: an attractive alarm clock signed on the back: ‘Jolly good show! Mags!’ Little did the poor captain know as he installed the clock proudly above his bed that inside was an ‘Oh la la’ homing device especially attractive to French-made jets and missiles.
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