OK chaps, keep your hands where people can see them, and don’t touch. And try not to look. Soon that too will be a crime, so keep your eyes on the ground and you’ll be fine. The other thing to stay away from is due process. It does not exist and don’t try to exploit it. It’s a male invention intended to shield men. Get this into your thick skull: you are presumed guilty when the accuser is female, especially an American female. Now shut up, keep your head down, and go to work.
Joe Biden is no stranger to Brits; he was caught red-handed plagiarising a Neil Kinnock speech very long ago, but he apologised and everything was forgiven. Now he’s in trouble again for giving a lady a friendly pat on the shoulders, but after apologising again, he’ll be fine and will be running for president. Keep your hands to yourself, Joe, this is the #MeToo era.
So far I’ve been lucky, and it helps that I’m not a tactile person and respect other people’s personal space.
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