Hidden benefits

In Competition No. 2864 you were invited to submit an imaginary feature from a newspaper’s health pages extolling the benefits to wellbeing of something traditionally thought to be bad for you.

Brian Murdoch cast a new light on excessive boozing: ‘The Romans knew about it, of course, and new guidelines have re-endorsed the values of binge drinking as a regular purgation of the system.’ And if you have always viewed the deep-fried Mars Bar with suspicion, think again: Rob Stuart’s entry argues (not altogether convincingly) that, far from being ‘nutritional Armageddon’, the DFMB actually provides us with the requisite five-a-day. Cathy Bryant rebrands adultery as an aid to weight loss and fitness (‘The cardio-toning effect of the sweating and shaking as you lie to your spouse means that you’re well ahead diet-wise.’) There were strong performances, too, from Douglas G. Brown and Sergio Michael Petro.