Hell is other people’s taste in music

‘I don’t really like most of the music you play,’ said the tall blonde woman with whom I share my life. ‘There are no tunes. Where are the tunes? A lot of it sounds like the sort of thing you’d hear in Topshop.’

I was outraged. Admittedly, the song playing at that moment — a droll little thing called ‘Boring’ by The Pierces — didn’t exactly boast a killer melody, but even so. Like any music obsessive worth his salt, I pride myself on my ability to spot a decent tune from 40 paces, even if many of them are couched within the acoustic, minor-key, vaguely melancholy textures I tend to favour. ‘It all sounds the same,’ said the tall blonde woman, warming to her theme, as the excellent ‘Boring’ was replaced by the next track on the album, which was just boring, unfortunately. Hell isn’t other people, I told her.