Heels over head

The news that union members at the TUC Congress are eager to ban high heels in the workplace, for health and safety reasons, confirms a number of our long-held theories. First, that dreaming up health and safety hazards is more of a hobby than a job for union officials. Rather than focus on real risks, it’s much more fun for them to fantasise about un-usual and exciting scenarios: what if a high heel were to snag on a phone wire? What if an earring were to hook onto the spoke of a passing umbrella? Second: any old statistic will do in the service of health and safety. Leading the charge against stilettos was a foot expert called Lorraine Jones, who pointed out that two million working days are lost every year due to ‘lower limb problems’. Only a tiny fraction of these could possibly be blamed on shoes, but that troubled neither her nor her colleagues.