Shortly before noon, Sir Keir Starmer and his closest chums peeped out from behind the Speaker’s chair to see if it was safe to enter the chamber. Led by their boss, the furtive cabal of Granny-chillers sidled forward and tiptoed to their seats like naughty teenagers late for a geography class. What had they been doing backstage? Knitting cardigans for hypothermia victims perhaps. A few perfunctory chirrups greeted their arrival but most Labour MPs kept quiet. They were too scared to cheer the man who wants to raise cash by mugging pensioners this winter. Rishi Sunak went straight for Sir Keir’s weak spot and asked about an ‘impact assessment’ into his plan to fleece the elderly.
‘The fact of the matter is,’ said Sir Keir, ‘they left a £22 billion black-hole.’ Yes, we’ve heard about that. Rishi asked again. Why not publish the impact assessment?
‘I remember the days when they were concerned about balancing the books,’ said Sir Keir, dodging a blow that had already landed.
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