Harry Styles’s behind is the only draw: My Policeman reviewed

My Policeman is a forbidden love drama starring both Harry Styles – whose bid for movie stardom continues apace – and his naked bottom. The bottom is good. Ten out of ten for the bottom, particularly during a scene in Venice when the light from the window casts it in a golden, buttery glow. But otherwise, this is an average, meek and soporific endeavour which hits quite a few bum notes of the kind that aren’t ideal.

It is based on the novel by Bethan Roberts, which in turn was inspired by the romantic life of E.M. Forster, who had a long-term relationship with a married policeman who suffers a stroke and is nursed by his wife, May. (Big shout out for May, I think.)

The film takes place in two timelines, starting with Brighton in the 1950s when our policeman, Tom (Styles), begins to court a trainee teacher, Marion (Emma Corrin) but also embarks on a secret relationship with Patrick (David Dawson), a museum curator and older man who becomes a friend of both.