Hague gives Hattie a PMQs kicking

Brown bunked off PMQs today, claiming a prior luncheon engagement with President Zuma of South Africa. Downing Street blamed the Queen for double-booking the PM. Can that be true? The head of state deprives the Commons of its democratic right to shout ‘Answer the question’ at a block of granite. Perhaps she had their best interests at heart.

Hattie Harman, replacing the PM, turned up in a pair of alarmingly shrill pink glasses. Opposite her, William Hague wore a sober suit of inky blue. He looked ominously business-like as he aimed his first shot at her. Why had Brown cut the helicopter budget while the country was fighting two wars? This sent Hattie scampering to her dressing-up box of muddled phrases. ‘We have a second-to-none commitment to our armed forces,’ she improvised strangely. Hague then floated the worrying issue of the economy’s long term viability. ‘Why does she think UK government bonds are almost twice as risky as bonds of Pepsi or Mcdonalds?’

Finance gets Hattie in a terrible twist.