Jeremy Clarke Jeremy Clarke

Had the entire village population been wiped out since last week?

I have tried in vain to ascertain the death toll to date

Credit: genekrebs 
issue 04 April 2020

With my signed and dated laissez-passer in my pocket, I trotted down to the village to see if I could buy anything to eat, drink or smoke. A sensation of being out and about in the world was also high on the agenda. Cycling and jogging earns you a fine, of which a quarter of a million have been doled out in a fortnight. But we are permitted to walk the dog for one kilometre, or 546 yards there and 546 yards back. We cheat a bit, Catriona and I, by taking the dog separately, meaning she gets two walks a day. She’s elderly and frail, the poor bewildered thing, and completely knackered. And if we tick the box on the laissez-passer we can also go out to the nearest grocery shop and tobacconist.

Nevertheless confinement is beginning to chafe a bit. And two days ago, just as the end was in sight, the finishing tape was moved to the middle of April.

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