Greek salad: the ultimate heatwave dish

Good lord, it’s hot. I mean, really, really hot. Right now, the heat is so overwhelming as to feel like it is tangible, as if you could reach out and touch it. All we’re capable of talking about is the heat; any other polite conversation is too much for our fried brains. Normally, when our annual heatwave hits, I proffer some halfway house of a recipe: a dish that only needs the hob, not the oven, or is sufficiently refreshing or brightening that it justifies the added kitchen heat. But, this year, even that compromise seems unmanageable.

At this stage, it would feel disingenuous, nay cruel, to offer up a recipe even for something like for ice cream, as that’s going to require making a custard base and honestly, who can bear the thought of standing over a stove waiting for eggs to coagulate? Not me.

We are not a country with the infrastructure to survive even the slightest increase in temperature, let alone what we’re facing now. Anything beyond basic functioning and occasionally fanning myself with whatever I can reach without moving is asking too much. All I’m good for at the moment is reclining in a darkened room, spritzing myself occasionally with water from a spray bottle, and maybe deigning to eat fridge-cold watermelon. But unfortunately, sometimes a real dish is required, even in challenging circumstances such as these.

Greek salad is the answer: cool, crisp, crunchy, and packed with flavour. No roasting chicken, no boiling noodles or poaching eggs, no frying lardons or croutons, this salad requires no more than a little gentle chopping. And better still, everything apart from the tomatoes can come straight from the fridge. Tomatoes kept in the fridge lose their flavour, go wooly in texture, so are best kept at room temperature – but the salty feta, bitter kalamata olives, and cooling cucumber are all fridge-ready.