Great Britain could win gold in Olympic moaning

When I was on local papers we waged an open war on Reigate and Banstead Borough Council, the body that could do no right. When they took action it was always wrong, when they didn’t it was criminally negligent. Local residents up in arms. Would you say it was hell living here? Must someone be killed before something is done about the Buckland bends?

We thought we were brave campaigners on the cutting edge of social justice: in truth we were following the instructions of the oldest chapter in journalism’s vast and endlessly well-thumbed book of clichés: good news is no news. So if it’s good it’s actually bad and if it’s bad it’s just awful.

And that is precisely the way the brave voices of the British press have been covering the build-up to the Olympic Games in Rio. First, the Games are taking place in a developing country, so we can slag the place off eternally for not being a lot like Reigate or that matter, Banstead.