Why would anyone want to buy this dreadful book? The frightful Simon Cowell appears to have co-operated with the author, and it is littered with repellent photographs — chiefly of a smirking Simon surrounded by beautiful ‘ex-girlfriends’. (Cowell is keen to inform us that he has had lots of girlfriends. He is not gay. Not. Gay.)
Surely, if one wanted to read about Cowell and gaze at pictures of his over-indulged, hairy body, why not just browse the internet? The websites featuring comments such as, ‘Simon Cowl is reelly horibel and rood’ are far more amusing than Tom Bower’s repetitive biography. I would forgive the author if his book were entertaining, but it is not — it renders the reader exhausted yet fretful, a sensation similar to overdosing on double espressos.
Bower begins by observing Cowell aboard his yacht, which costs £2 million a month to charter. Detailing the cost of Simon’s vulgar lifestyle is thought to be of enormous interests:
With his annual income heading towards $70 million, Cowell no longer stints on luxuries … he travels everywhere with at least two large suitcases filled with potions … spends £5,000 for one hour’s beauty treatment … Dr Wendy Denning, an attractive British GP, recommended Cowell to have ‘the full blood work’ every six months.
I did not make that last bit up, and no, I do not know what ‘the full blood work’ means.
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