Go on, Sarko, tell us another

The typical cowardice of French journalists has prevented us from knowing the full details of that off-the-record chat between Nicolas Sarkozy and President Barack Obama — until now. Hitherto we had to make do with Sarkozy’s rather boring attack upon the Israeli leader Benyamin Netanyahu: ‘I cannot bear Netanyahu, he is a liar.’ To which Obama replied: ‘You’re fed up with him? I have to deal with him even more than you.’ Well, so far, so so-so. It is an exchange which will certainly have Netanyahu laughing his head off, largely on account of Obama’s connivance (I don’t suppose he could give a monkey’s what Sarkozy thinks about anything, any more than the rest of us should). But even this stuff was late in coming; the French press kept it to themselves for a few days, too scared to run it in case Sarkozy shouted at them again, like he is prone to do in press conferences, whereupon they all look nervous and try not to catch his eye. They are a strangely deferential lot, the French press.

However, I’ve had passed on to me, via valuable sources, a few snippets which have not yet been reported at all. It seems that Obama kicked the conversation off, as he always does — to break the ice — by saying, ‘so come on, tell me what world leaders do you really hate?’ Sarkozy didn’t even have to think before replying: ‘That German hag. You know, I half believe those internet rumours that she was created from the frozen semen of Adolf Hitler. And have you seen her at dinner? Watch later on. She eats like a dinosaur, a big dinosaur, cramming stuff into that fat German gullet like they’ve just abolished rationing. Keep an eye on your filet mignon, Barack.’