Funeral Phil has a sense of comedy that goes unnoticed

Odd-looking chap, the chancellor. Give him a moustache and a top hat and he could be Neville Chamberlain. Or a funeral director. With his stooping frame and his watchful hook-nosed features he has the air of a vulture about to feast on carrion. But he struck a kindlier note at the Budget as he set out his vision of a thrusting, modern economy. ‘Every one of our citizens,’ he trilled, ‘can contribute to – and share in – the benefits of prosperity.’ The UK, he said, ‘is a beacon of creativity, a civilised and tolerant place that cares for the vulnerable and nurtures the talented.’ Was he practising a voice-over for a housing development in paradise? ‘Global Britain,’ he intoned, ‘is a prosperous, inclusive economy, where everyone has the opportunity to shine.’ Talking about measures to curb smog he fluted, ‘We owe it to our children that the air they breathe is clean’.