It’s the Portuguese piglet you feel really sorry for. The diminutive (ready cooked) porker — a festive delicacy all over the Iberian peninsula — was a Christmas gift from Spurs manager José Mourinho to his talented fullback Sergio Reguilon, on loan from Real Madrid. José, showing a robust approach to the intricacies of Veganuary, thought his player, a long way from his family, would be feeling lonely.
As it turns out he needn’t have worried. Reguilon was one of a considerable number of Premier League players who were able to seek solace and good company at a series of jolly Christmas and new year parties, hosted by teammates and featuring considerable numbers of attractive young women wearing Santa Claus hats and not a great deal else. And of course, as you do, posting the lot on Instagram. Awkward.
Should everything go belly up, there’s clearly a career in the food industry awaiting José Mourinho
So it can’t have been much of a surprise that Covid has been rampaging through the Premier League — West Ham, Manchester City, Fulham and Palace to name a few —forcing cancellations, and wreaking havoc as well throughout the lower leagues. Quite why the clubs haven’t come down hard, and publicly, on individual players is beyond most of us. Still, I hope the suckling pig yielded some tasty sandwiches after training.
Mourinho was in top form when the party pictures emerged: ‘As a club of course we feel disappointed because we give the players all the education… all the conditions, and of course we are not happy. It was a negative surprise for us.’ There could be a few more negative surprises before the season’s out.
But should everything go belly up, there’s clearly a career in the food industry awaiting José.

Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in