Finally! My opportunity to say, ‘Monsieur, with zis Rocher you are really spoiling us!’

The ambassador’s receptions are noted in society for their host’s exquisite taste that captivates guests. You know that, I know that. Anyone who enjoyed the cheesier television adverts of the early Nineties will know that.

Imagine my excitement, therefore, when I received an invitation to a buffet supper at the real Italian Embassy. The friend who invited me was notified immediately that I accepted, and was very much looking forward to it. ‘See you at Ferrero Rocher House, 6 p.m. sharp!’ I said. ‘Let’s hope he really spoils us!’ And I hummed the old Ferrero Rocher theme tune.

‘Yes, you might want to tone down the Ferrero Rocher allusions a bit,’ said the friend, a businesswoman, who was thinking the occasion might provide her with an opportunity for some networking.

‘I’m just saying, I hope a butler with a tray comes round with a carefully arranged pyramid of chocolates in gold wrappers. And then I can say, ‘Monsieur, with zis Rocher you are really spoiling us!’ I mean, I’m going to be the Swiss lady in the black dress with the big blonde hairdo, right? You can be the one with the sleek black Miss Whiplash hair and the sparkly dress who sweeps past snootily, while swallowing a chocolate in one gulp.