Eaten by a bear

I don’t like losing at chess. It feels bad in the moment, whether my position subsides like a failed pudding, or crashes like a severed tree. It feels bad right afterwards too, staring at a big fat zero on the scorecard.

But worst of all is the lingering knot of disgust, because usually one’s mistakes are echoes of shortcomings one knew about already, and there is no hiding from them. The chorus from Radiohead’s ‘Just’ (from The Bends) could as well be an anthem for sulking chess players.

You do it to yourself, you do And that’s what really hurts Is you do it to yourself Just you, you and no one else You do it to yourself…

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Druin Burch

Lucy Letby and the killer nurse I worked with

But last week I lost a game and felt, well, pretty much fine. Of course, the big fat zero was a disappointment — to myself and my team.