Do I have a right to be offended by threesomes?

I couldn’t get to sleep the other night for worrying about the future of liberalism. So I got up and put the telly on. Maybe there would be something soothing on, to help me forget my worries. There was a show on Channel 4 called My First Threesome. The voiceover explained that lockdown had led many of us to be more sexually adventurous, and even to explore ‘what is for many of us the ultimate fantasy’.

Before we met some enthusiastic adventurers, a brief historical segment explained that many wise ancient cultures saw sex with more than one person as a perfectly natural desire. ‘Then for centuries religion and shame pushed it to the realm of fantasy.’ Then we briefly heard form a couple of bouncy participants, one of whom cheerily said that sex with two people was doubly pleasurable; another said that the orgasm he had in a threesome exceeded any other he had ever had.