Disputed paternity

Apart from Punishment Day, Beating Day, and Kill-One-Of-The-Pets-To-Teach-’Em-That-Life-Is-Harsh-Random-And-Unfair Day, I’m generally not one of those fathers who goes in for cruelty and neglect of his children. I’m too busy working my arse off to feed, clothe and educate the ungrateful sods, that’s probably why.

Apart from Punishment Day, Beating Day, and Kill-One-Of-The-Pets-To-Teach-’Em-That-Life-Is-Harsh-Random-And-Unfair Day, I’m generally not one of those fathers who goes in for cruelty and neglect of his children. I’m too busy working my arse off to feed, clothe and educate the ungrateful sods, that’s probably why.

But having sat through some of the rubbish the BBC tried to fob us off with this week as part of a season pegged to Father’s Day, I’m thinking of changing my policy. Both A Century of Fatherhood (BBC4, Monday) and The Biology of Dads (BBC4, Tuesday) were so maddeningly annoying, so emetically politically correct that just to punish the BBC I think I may be forced to starve Boy and Girl for a week and send videos of their pathetic bleatings to whichever prize pillock was responsible for this pile of pants.