Mark Mason

Discover your inner nerd

issue 07 November 2015

There’s a curious thing about the bowling green in my Suffolk village. The footpath running alongside it is on a slope, meaning that as you descend, the wall gradually rises and hides the players from view. What’s strange is that the older I get, the more I find myself slowing down to see what happens to the wood that’s just been delivered. Not knowing whether it reached the jack, or managed to nudge the opponent’s wood to one side, simply isn’t an option. It would be like going to see a whodunit and not staying to the end.

This book gave me the same feeling. Crown green bowls is one of those things you don’t want any personal contact with; you’re just glad it’s still there. A bit like penicillin, or Ken Dodd. And emphatically not like morris dancing. That’s for weirdos, whereas bowls is for normal people, the normal people that you or I could become if we happened to grow old in a slightly different way.

Reading about the game, it seems, is much like watching it: relaxing, perhaps even a touch hypnotic, a cosy way of discovering your inner nerd.

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