Sunday
Weekend duty totally ruined by silly Sayeeda’s trip to Sudan. Spent all day yesterday fielding calls for pre-trip interviews, but she couldn’t do any of them because she had an urgent appointment at Daniel Galvin for a cut and blow dry before she went to the airport. Dave and Mr Hague think it’s all v bad idea and will go horribly wrong on account of her uncanny knack of saying exactly the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time. Jed declared at one point it would have been better to send Mr Hague and let him ‘bore Bashir rigid about how Islam is just like Judo’.
Monday
The row has reached Wibberley! Busy Bees nursery displaying a Mickey Mouse called Mohammed in its front window. The Happy Hooves riding school has renamed three of its horses Mohammed and Mrs Pargetter has changed the name of the old manor house from Mallard’s Reach to Mohammed’s Reach. Mummy says the oppressed masses are rising up. ‘Let them take us on! The Janjaweed doesn’t frighten Wibberley.’ She’s right of course. You wouldn’t cross Mrs Pargetter even if you had a machete. She’s a member of Conservative Way Forward, for goodness sake.
Tuesday
Sayeeda is diplomatic genius! Even Mr Hague says so. ‘What a very fine idea to send that magnificent young lady to sort out the Sudan. Can we send her to Kosovo this weekend? Hmmmmmmm?’
Dave says it’s beginner’s luck. Personally, I think it’s that trip to Daniel Galvin. It’s amazing what one of those power bobs can do. Have booked an appointment. If they can turn Sayeeda into a peace negotiator, what might they be able to do for me?
Boris’s party tonight! Can’t wait to wow everybody in my Princess Leia outfit.

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