Well, here they are! My exciting New Year’s Resolutions for 2007!
1) Make more policy
Controversial, I know. But after long chat with Jed am convinced that this is where I can make my mark. He says, and I agree, that policy is far too important to be left to politicians, ‘especially clueless Tories. This is a job for people who understand people, Tammy. Their hopes, their fears — goddamit, their dreams. It’s about knowing what they want — and giving it to them.’ Then he clicked his fingers in v sexy way. It’s becoming clear to me why he is in charge. Have already had some success with my 35-hour working week proposal. So, am going to spend Christmas on a new plan for people with pets to be given equal rights to paid parental leave. There must be literally millions of doggy votes in it — let’s help the paw!
2) Remain unmarried
Despite IDS doing his best to force everyone to get married in a bid to cut crime, eliminate addiction and create a new Utopia (good luck with that, by the way!), am certain that Compassionate Cohabiting is the smart lifestyle option for the centre-right girl about town.
After all, Jed himself is living with girlfriend in one of west London’s most glamorous ‘power cohabitations’ and no one seems to think he would be better off married (possibly because he is middle class and rich, and that is actually the best recipe for stability according to secret briefing note on the IDS report).
Must try to persuade my tabloid paramour M to make an honest civil partner of me. (Maybe I need to leak him a few more emails about our real position on climate change? That last one went down a treat.)
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in