Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 29 May 2010

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

issue 29 May 2010

Monday

Frantic Queen’s Speech rewrites. We’re having to take out references to ‘Dave’ and insert ‘my government’ — boring! I don’t see what’s wrong with ‘My Dave will build a Big Society where Britain is no longer broken, and chocolate oranges are kept well away from the cash tills at WH Smith.’ It didn’t help that the whole thing was leaked to the press, dropping us in it with the Palace who rang to ask ‘what sort of Mickey Mouse operation’ we were running. Not naming any sandal-wearing lefties, but we’ve decided on someone we’ll be blaming for this and all subsequent leaks. So he’d better keep up the ballroom dancing because he’s going to have a lot of time on his hands once we’ve finished slashing his department to ribbons. Still, at least we’ve managed to cut £6.2 billion from the deficit. Only another £149.8 billion to go!

Tuesday

Sam in a stinky mood.

Comments

Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months

Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.

Already a subscriber? Log in