Good news at last. Dezzy and Paddy (sorry, Mr Swayne and Mr McLoughlin) have successfully identified the traitors who are calling for a vote of no confidence in Dave.
When you look down the list it’s clear that we are dealing with some extremely vulnerable people.
Monday
Good news at last. Dezzy and Paddy (sorry, Mr Swayne and Mr McLoughlin) have successfully identified the traitors who are calling for a vote of no confidence in Dave.
When you look down the list it’s clear that we are dealing with some extremely vulnerable people.
Sherwood our lifestyle guru has recommended aromatherapy massage, acupuncture and possibly re-birthing. Says if we’d paid sufficient attention to Quentin Davies’s unhealed chakra centres, he would never have crossed the floor. ‘How many more must suffer before you realise that trad rightwingers are just flesh and blood, and need to be stroked?’ Nigel says it all sounds a bit iffy. ‘There are people on that list I wouldn’t stroke if they were covered in velvet.’
Less positively, have had to suspend my Boris Merchandise Unit. Apparently there’s some suggestion that there’s a contest going on for the Tory candidacy — ha! — and until The Bozmeister wins it we are not to assume he’s our candidate for Mayor. Talk about picky. Might commission a few ‘Save Dave’ badges instead, just in case.
Down in the polls again. It’s just such a tragedy that Mr Maude is not around to see it!
Tuesday
Huge struggle getting Dave to Rwanda. Everyone’s head aching after gruelling two hour ‘Circle Squaring Workshop’.
In the end we came up with a compassionate narrative linking the floods in Oxfordshire with poverty in sub-Saharan Africa. It was pretty convoluted, and Dave had to be talked through the science of it about ten times.
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