Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 26 May 2007

Most exciting day ever: had to activate the Early Warning System!

issue 26 May 2007

Sunday

Most exciting day ever: had to activate the Early Warning System! First time it’s been done!! I knew as soon as I saw the headlines on grammar schools that I would have to do it. I panicked at first, but remembered my training. I broke the glass on the Emergency Point and took out the Guidance Pack. The cover note said, ‘You are reading this because a Negative Story has been in the news for five days. Stay calm and follow the procedures below. Above all: remain civil and compassionate.’

‘1. Call Jed. In the event of Jed being unavailable call Sam, Francis or George B. DO NOT call Oliver, or any other Georges.

2. Divert all incoming switchboard calls to voicemail, and ensure front doors locked.

3. Send out the Emergency Diversion Press Release on corporation tax. You will find this in the pdf file marked Black Special.

4.

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