Monday
OK, OK, I was wrong. (It does happen you know.) I may have been a teensy bit oversensitive about the whole ‘marriage’ thing. But I am now prepared to admit that it does seem that it may, after all, be the answer to everything. I cannot argue with statistics showing that hardly anybody on these south London housing estates is married. And everyone is getting shot. Contrast that with the situation in, let’s say, Witney, where 95 per cent of people are married. And gun crime is nonexistent. Also, as Jed explained to us at Strategy Hub, there are no end of political problems you can apply the marriage formula thingy to and with the added benefit that banging on and on about it buys off a huge chunk of the grassroots! How clever is that?
Maybe I was being a bit touchy because I have failed to ‘Be the Change’ as far as this particular diktat — or should I say Dave-tat! — is concerned. But now I’m all briefed up and ready to go. Obviously the war on single mothers is over. The weapons have been put beyond use. But let us be clear: we cannot allow single mothers to continue bringing up children on their own. So we are going to offer tax breaks for couples who stay together. Because couples who stay together for cash are going to be more committed parents. Actually, that doesn’t sound right. This is obviously going to take a bit of practice.
Tuesday
Panic stations. It’s chaos in here. We don’t want to take anything for granted but let’s face it, we are going to win the next election. Mr Maude gave a v interesting presentation on how 42 per cent does not in fact translate into a 144-seat majority — ‘very far from it!’ — but rather lands us in the wilderness for another ten years.
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