Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody – 23 June 2006

Monday
Am contemplating a serious hissy fit. On phone this morning briefing Dave’s family speech, dutifully telling a v. rude journalist that ‘this is all about traditional Tory values’, when suddenly I hear Poppy on the other line, in full mockney accent, saying: ‘Yeah, that’s right, this spells the end of traditional Tory values.’ This is outrageous! Why is it me who gets lumped with the boring ‘core’ briefing whilst Poppy gets to spin the opposite line about tax breaks for gays?! Is it because she wears drainpipe jeans to the office? I can be daring and street too, actually. Beneath this perfect blow-dry there’s a liberal slacker just fighting to get out. I want a piece of the modernising action! In fact, am going to tell Nigel right now that next time we do energy, I want to be on the side that briefs for renewables not nuclear. And when the economy comes round again, he can get someone else to dish out the dud line on tax cuts that gets shot down the next day.