Monday
A quick straw poll of the office confirms that only three of us would be clever enough to be a teacher under Dave’s new plans. This shows just how ambitious and brilliant they are! Wonky Tom would qualify, but says he would rather eat his own head than go near a roomful of screaming, obese delinquents with ADD (bit harsh). So basically, if you think about it, what we need is for thousands of very clever people who want a really horrible job that doesn’t pay much to come forward for the sake of their country’s future. Some sort of poster campaign might be in order, perhaps featuring a huge picture of our maths tsar Carole Vorderman warning kids to study hard or they’ll end up like her, with a stinky old third and only able to work on daytime TV quiz shows. Just thought — Dave could be a teacher! Didn’t he get a first? Must suggest this as brilliant Be The Change proposal!!
Tuesday
Can’t believe people are really debating who is the party of the middle classes.
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