Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 21 February 2009

Monday

Dave’s horrible clothes are a triumph! Of course everyone is claiming it was their idea, but the fact is no one remembered he’d got those smelly old trainers made out of recycled tyre rubber and wine bottle corks until I pointed it out. Sam was a bit trickier. Once Tom and I got over to the house and started rooting through things it was obvious we weren’t going to find anything scruffy so we had to improvise by scuffing a pair of her best boots with a spaghetti spoon. She wasn’t best pleased at first — lot of choice mockney swearing about stoning crows — but when the photos came out even she could see the wisdom of it. Everyone agrees that they looked even sadder than the bespoke scuffing on Prince Charles’s brogues, and I happen to know that was done by a professional! Am now officially in charge of Recession Wardrobe Services.