Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 20 March 2010

Monday

Thank goodness! The Great Wobble of 2010 is over!! Never again will I go to Lanzarote so close to an election. Turns out, there wasn’t a single person doing strategy in my absence. Jed was doing brand detox and message aromatherapy, Gary was doing shouting at the press and Mr Letwin was doing sitting in the loo pretending to write the manifesto, as usual (we really must get a move on with that). Thankfully I’m now getting some help. Sam has been given her own suite of offices and will be reporting to me. Gary and Jed, who had to be moved to accommodate her, are sharing Conference Room B. They sit at opposite ends of a huge table shouting at each other, like a ratty old couple arguing over who should pass the salt. Dave says it’s good for them. They report directly to Gids, who is locked, I mean situated, in the adjoining broom cupboard.