Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody – 2 February 2008

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

issue 02 February 2008

Monday

Dave says we are absolutely not withdrawing the whip from poor Mr Conway. If we do such a thing, where will it end? Which MP hasn’t at some point given their son a Saturday job answering the phones at the family home? Whose office is not stuffed full of family and friends, all working their socks off for the Great Conservative Victory? It’s what we Tories do, you see: pull together in times of national need. DD furious at the very suggestion that we might humiliate a former whip and his oldest ally. He put forward a lot of forceful arguments during a special huddle. ‘Blood’s thicker than water; lifelong servant of the party; knows where all the bodies are buried.’ Etc. All v powerful stuff. At one point, Dave was virtually moved to tears. Say what you like about this party, it stands by its people in times of trouble.

Tuesday

We are withdrawing the whip from that dreadful Mr Conway, or Del Boy as we all now call him! Dave has acted decisively and with heroic strength and leadership.

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