Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 18 April 2009

Monday

This is just silly. Why won’t anyone tell me what Dave didn’t have? I only asked if it wasn’t a verruca but Poppy got v cross and said: ‘Dave does not not have a verruca!’ in a really aggressive way. ‘Well, what wasn’t it then?’ I asked. ‘He didn’t not have athlete’s foot did he?’ Thought this was reasonable question but was locked in Austerity Room for three hours before Jed ordered my release. By then they’d had all the exciting briefings, including the one about boot polish I was so looking forward to. Why do they always keep this sort of stuff from me? I can cope with the rough end of politics, warts and all. Everyone still v upset. Frances wants to show Gordon how ‘fragile’ she is by confronting him in members’ lobby after PMQs and demanding an apology to his face, possibly with Jeremy Kyle in tow.