Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 17 February 2007

It simply cannot be the case that everyone smoked cannabis at school.

issue 17 February 2007

Monday

Am fed up. It simply cannot be the case that everyone smoked cannabis at school. They’re clearly all just saying it to suck up to Dave. Head office unbearable. I’ve had it up to here with Moroccan black, red seal and ‘Maui wowie’. Well, I’m not going to lie. I have never smoked marijuana. There — I’ve said it! The taboo has been shattered.

Found out this afternoon I don’t have clearance for Operation Mary Jane meetings but Poppy and Wonky Tom do. Stopped Jed outside Tranquillity Room and asked him straight out: ‘Is it because I’ve not smoked cannabis?’ Jed said: ‘No way, man, you’re cool with us, daddy-o. It’s just there aren’t enough chairs.’ Harrumph. It so totally is because I haven’t smoked cannabis. I bet poor old Dame Patrick never smoked it either, now he’s been deselected.

Tuesday

Spent morning standing on a battered old soap box marked ‘Plan B’ with my nose pressed against the little window in the conference-room door.

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