Monday
I can’t believe people are saying that tax cutting is Gordon’s idea! This is an unbelievable cheek!! Dave has been banging on about cutting taxes for three years now. Every time he makes a speech it’s tax cuts this, tax cuts that. Tax, tax, tax — it’s all we ever talk about. You know what I think has gone wrong? We’ve been calling for tax cuts for so long now people just don’t hear us any more. It’s like white noise. This is probably why a lot of our tax cutting talk just hasn’t been reported. People are bored of it. I mean, there’s only so long you can go on about the Virtuous Cycle before people switch off. Even Mr Redwood was begging us to stop going on about it. Nanu! Nanu! Incidentally, I’ve had a lot of people asking me how Dave is going to honour his commitment not to promise up-front tax cuts. Let me make it clear once and for all — Dave never said ‘no up-front tax cuts’. What he said was ‘no up-front tax cuts yet’. Our plan was always to wait and unveil them during the recession when people were desperate. Which is the responsible thing to do.
Tuesday
Hooray! The super radical right-wing measures we’ve been secretly drawing up for years, while pretending we were only interested in silly things like huskies, is giving Gordo a real run for his money. He can promise to help Middle Britain all he wants but only the Compassionate Conservatives are promising to do something so fiendishly clever with National Insurance people can’t even begin to understand it! And for those still weirdly insisting we were against tax cuts before we’ve drawn up a brilliant and sophisticated briefing document: ‘Why Tories were first to promise tax cuts, and not Nick Clegg who is just making it up as he goes along.’
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