Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 12 December 2009

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

issue 12 December 2009

Monday

Been agonising over it all weekend but I just don’t think I like the sound of Tammy Waters. I know it’s my best chance to get a safe seat, but Daddy is furious. Says it makes me sound like a country and western singer. Dave is adamant and says it really suits me.

Am starting to wonder if all this shortening of posh names has gone a bit too far. Just because a candidate is called Richard Grosvenor-House-Plunkett-Ernie-Wise-Earl-Grey-Count-Dracula, or whatever poor Mr Drax’s original name was before we mangled it, doesn’t mean he can’t get down with the kids on sink estates.

Take IDS, or Iain Smith, as he will soon be known. He loves going to sink estates and he lives in an enormous manor house and is posher than Dave, or Dav as his friends now refer to him.

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