Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody – 11 August 2006

Monday
I love August! So exciting. Dave is in totally secret location in Corfu. Only Jed and an agency snapper know the details. This is part of brilliant ‘deflection’ strategy. If anything goes wrong, e.g., shad. cab. split on Middle East erupts, we roll out pics of Dave in O’Neill surf shorts. Genius! If row really bad — e.g., Foxy manages to work out we’ve put a bar on his mobile phone to stop him calling journalists — we have pics of Dave with trunks slightly falling down. I hope it won’t come to that. Poor Dave, the things he does for the Cause. Even though he’s by a pool with his mates from ‘Bully’ — not sure what this means, can’t be about darts surely? — he conducts big conference call on Lebanon. Maureen on switchboard does brilliant job holding up William long enough for Dave to agree line with Jed first.