Monday
Mr Clarke on the phone again, v crabby. He says it’s taking a lot of hours out of his day having to answer questions about the economy and can’t we stop people calling him so he can get on with counting sparrows. ‘At this rate the only way I’ll get my RSPB garden-watch sheet filled in is by taking that blasted job Dave’s banging on about. At least then I won’t be allowed to say anything.’ Told Jed and he said this meant the strategy was working. Am under strict orders to tell everyone who rings for Gids that they’re to phone Mr Clarke. ‘We’ll smoke him back into the shadow cabinet if it kills us. He’s going to be begging to be let in soon.’ Genius! Next time he rings am going to add to the pressure by asking him about my own financial plans. Have decided to beat 0 per cent interest rates by closing savings account and spending all my money. Clever, huh!
Tuesday
Bit of a reshuffle panic. If the inquiry lets us down as badly as we think it is going to we may not be able to sack Mrs Spelperson. In which case we could have a riot on our hands. Also, what to do about Mr Pickles and Mr Hunt, who were so excited about being made party chairman? The way they’ve pitched for the job has been a model of competitive tendering. Mr Hunt really pushed the boat out by getting inclusively engaged to a Chinese lady. Not sure Mr P can compete with that, although his attempts to make himself a bigger beast do seem to have gathered pace over the Xmas holiday, by the look of him. Now we will have to find something else for them.
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