Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 1 March 2008

Monday

Thank goodness I keep a diary. I want to put on record here so that future generations of Lightwaters can see that it was my idea to have Our Leader encounter a great white ‘shark’ while surfing in South Africa! Moreover I picked out the blue, Malibu-cut Vilebrequins Dave was wearing while fleeing the ‘shark’. And I was in charge of the photos of him emerging from the sea looking like a dark-haired Daniel Craig. Of course Poppy and Suzie are trying to take all the credit but Jed knows it was me. He says if he can find someone else to take over pot plant and ambience management, he will move me to a permanent role as part of the team overseeing strategic directional development of Dave’s Sex Appeal. This is more important than ever now that it’s that clear that nothing policy-driven is going to make the slightest bit of difference to Labour’s grip on power.